Remembering Sharon

by Tiffani on August 6, 2009

Sharon

Sharon

How does anyone lose someone they love so much and live? I have lost my best friend in the whole wide world. Her name was Sharon Sharp.

In situations like this, most people reflect and talk about how losing a loved one was so devastating for them — but Sharon wouldn’t have wanted that, and I don’t want that either. I just want to talk about Sharon as my friend, how she inspired me, how she loved me, and how she made a huge difference in so many people’s lives in such a wonderful and positive way.

Brad and I met Don and Sharon on the day of our wedding 23 years ago. We were pulling into our apartment building, right after we got married. We saw the most handsome couple in the front of the building. We started to talk to them, and it was an instant friendship on the first sight! Sharon was the Illinois Lottery Director and Don owned an insurance company. Upon seeing them for the first time, I remember telling Brad, “When we grow up, I want us to be just like them.” (When I later told Sharon that story, she jokingly retorted, “You, Bitch”!)

Sharon was the perfect example of a true “girl-friendship.” She gave me unconditional love, honest friendship, and made me feel so safe. Sharon’s friendship gave me confidence and happiness. She was always proud of what I have accomplished. If I happened to receive an award, or cook something that was fabulous, she would always brag about me — and not just me, but all of her other girlfriends, too. Sharon had a lot of strong, high-powered girlfriends because she was never jealous of them. She always supported, respected and loved them for what they accomplished, and proud of the fact that she was their friend.

Sharon was part of a family I chose to have in my life. She accepted me just the way I was, and we were so happy being around each other. We’ve gone through good, bad and ugly times, and we were always there for each other. We never had to ask for help; we just knew what we needed to do for each other and just did it. We embraced the same principles of right and wrong and about how to live a good, descent life.

Sharon taught me what to do in life. She was always right on. Sharon was a very, very smart and intelligent woman. She was very mature and sophisticated in her thoughts. Even though she was 20 years older than me, she remained modern in both her viewpoints and lifestyle. We always agreed on issues of right or wrong — for us, it was that clear. I think that’s where our friendship started: We had the same morals and ethics, which is a solid base for any kind of relationship. We grew up learning right and wrong from our parents, who preached and lived righteous lives.

Sharon was also very capable and knew how to handle difficult situations (and people). When Sharon, Brad, Don and I would go to a party, if there was a crass person no one wanted to deal with, we would always stick Sharon or Brad with that person, and the evening would be just peaceful and happy. Both Brad and Sharon found interest in everyone, and even the most loutish of people understood and appreciated their generosity and patience.

Sharon and Don

Sharon and Don

We loved to cook. We enjoyed trying new recipes on each other as guinea pigs. We didn’t mind because we trusted each other’s abilities and taste. We loved cooking for each other on Sundays: It was our evening together, and after watching 60 Minutes, we’d talk about our weekend and the week ahead. Yes, we gossiped … but we trusted each other that whatever we talked about stayed at the dinner table, and it did! It was good to have someone who you can gossip to, and know that it will never be repeated. We never judged others, we just accepted them — but at times, we decided to thank God that we were not like them.

Sharon loved Ilana and Dick, and we spent many of those Sunday dinners together. One very special Sunday evening, Rebecca brought Ray Charles to dinner; Ray was working with Rebecca on a project for the Georgia Lottery. Sharon invited her favorite friends. Ray bonded with Rebecca, Don and Sharon instantly when Sharon cooked Ray’s favorite, collard greens and biscuits. Ray absolutely loved it and had several servings. Ray drank his Crystal Champagne, played his songs and serenaded all the girls. It was a moment we would never forget. He made all of us girls feel so special! He was an incredible human being!!!

We loved our glass of red wine at the end of the day. When I had a bad day or a good day at work, I would usually get home, call Sharon, go down and have a glass of wine with her, and chill while talking about the day. Her door was always open, like a wine bar that never closed — but with no charge and with a great bartender named Sharon. Usually, there was always someone else there before me or after me. Sharon’s door was always open for her friends and dogs. Sharon always cooked more than normal people. Pat was always there, always busy doing big events but always popped in for a glass of red in between her events. Terry, Sharon and Princess were there, Kip’s friends were always there, as well as Kim, Kathy, Christine, Delilah, Lynn, Dorothy, Ann…

When I think back, I don’t know how Sharon did it, but evenings like that proved to be just so comfortable to hang out with her. It was always a place you could pop in and never feel like you were infringing on her privacy. That was her talent. She mixed people from all different walks of life and ages, but she made everybody feel comfortable and welcome. She loved that her friends always became friends. For instance, Sharon introduced me to my dearest friend Sherren in Michigan. She thought that because we had houses in Michigan, we should get to know each other. She was right! I loved hearing their China story when they were traveling with Governor Thompson. So many memorable and unforgettable stories that I love hearing over and over again; Sherren and I can still talk about them and laugh again.

Sharon, Ilana and I loved fashion and beauty. In fact, Sharon and Ilana had so many funny stories about their shopping extravaganzas! We were all proud of the fact that it is fun to shop retail, but it is more fun finding great bargains. Of course, we always bought more when it was cheaper, but we loved giving to others so it always worked out. Sharon was the most beautiful woman I have ever met. Inside and out. My sister Jacky called her more beautiful than Sharon Stone — and she was. She didn’t need to try to look good at all; she just looked good in anything she threw on together. Her eyes were so big and blue and crystal clear. Her hair was blonde, then it turned silver gray as she got older — the color that most women would want when their hair started to turn gray. She kept it short and chic. She never gained weight. She was a perfect height of 5′7″ and size 4-6. She was always a perfect model for my clothes. I was always proud when she wore my designs, she certainly made my dresses come to a life! She wore my silver strap dress when Kip and Erin got married. She was the most beautiful mother of the groom! She was so happy!!! We were so happy!!!!

Entertaining was one of Sharon’s favorite things to do. Sharon and I loved to entertain and be with friends. To Sharon, more the merrier! We enjoyed entertaining descent human beings who believed in treating other people like the way we wanted to be treated. We didn’t like mean, nasty people (and we always agreed on who they were.) We didn’t like people who were nasty to less fortunate or less educated people. When we went out, we always enjoyed meeting nice and interesting people. We didn’t discriminate. We would always be the last ones to leave each other’s parties so we could talk about how successful the party was. We’d always agree that our party was a success! Of course, we would immediately agree that parties are too much work, and that we would never put together another one ever again. Fortunately, that sentiment never lasted. We loved entertaining, feeding our friends and bringing them together.

Sharon

Sharon

We loved our family. We were both devoted to giving anything our families needed. Sharon loved Kip and Laura! Then there were Erin and the grand kids, they were her pride and joy! Sharon and Laura made their holiday trips to Colorado to visit the kids, and it was always one of those things she looked forward to.

We loved our town of Chicago, Lake Michigan, Lake Shore Drive, our apartments, our doorman and staff. We cared for them like a family.

Sharon loved politics. I loved hearing her point of view on it, because it was always very colorful and she helped me understand what it is about politics that some people are so nuts about. She loved her political group. A lot of very powerful, opinionated women with lots to say about what they believed in. Sharon was always excited about their round table discussion of everybody’s opinions and topics.

We loved our dogs and animals. Sharon spoiled her dogs and my dog Monster 1St, 2Nd and 3Rd. We both thought that any humans who treated animals badly were the lowest form of life on this planet. We loved our dogs, and our dogs loved one another. Steak and Shake was one of their regular stops for the dogs: Nothing was ever good enough for her “babies.”

We loved the weekends in Michigan. Sharon would read while Brad and I played golf. Sharon loved to read. Sometimes when she ran out of books, she would read telephone books. (Kind of strange … but she was entertained.) Then we would walk our dogs, on the beach, listen to Rod Stewart’s love songs, sip some red wine and start to cook together. As the sun would set behind the city of Chicago, we would sit outside and just enjoy the air of love and friendship. The sky was usually deep blue, light blue, gray and many shades of coral and pink. It was like heaven. In those moments, we’d always agree that this was our favorite place in the whole wide world.

We traveled to Paris, Greece, the Caribbean … just to name a few. It was the funniest thing to hear Sharon singing “Kumbaya My Lord” with her body sticking out through the roof of the limo. Rebecca, Terry, Brad and Don — we all agreed that that would not be the song that we would choose in Paris, the City of Love, and she didn’t have the voice we all wanted to hear for the second and the third time. Nevertheless, the evening was magical!

There are only two things that I wish. I wish we could have spent an hour, or a minute, or even just a few more seconds with her. I wish I could’ve taken some of her pain; she was in so much pain during the last few weeks of her life. She was a strong woman — for Sharon to complain about pain, it was unbearable to hear because she never ever complained. I wished I could’ve soaked her in an opium bath — anything that would have taken all of her pain away. Being a strong woman can be a very lonely thing. I know this because I am one. It was one of the things that we shared. When you are strong, you never talk about your problems, you don’t let anyone know that you are in pain, you never ask for help and you never want people to feel sorry for you. It can be a pretty lonely world unless you have friends who can read what’s going on with each other. We never had to ask each other for help, we just knew what the other needed and instinctively lent a hand.

It’s still a habit, but without realizing it, when I go to Whole Foods after work to pick up things for dinner, I reach out and call her number. I would grab three pieces of fish instead of two, or I would grab three pieces of desert cups without thinking … and put one down sadly. I keep picking up things that Sharon would’ve liked. She is in my mind all the time, and I often think that she is still around us. I know many of Sharon’s other friends are also having a very hard time with this. I want to call them and help all of us feel better … but what can we do? What can we say? One thing we know for sure was that she loved every single one of her friends. We are all sure of that, and it’s wonderful to know.

I guess all of Sharon’s friends will go through a process of mourning, sadness, feeling lost, anger because she left us so early, laugh because she had such a great sense of humor, cry because it is only natural, but most importantly, happiness and enlightenment because we were lucky enough to have known a woman who shared with us a long lasting, loving and a pure friendship.

For me, Sharon was my Sunday night supper, she was my new recipe, she was my righteousness, she was my glass of red wine, she was my American Idol, She was my Dancing with the Stars, she was my 1418 N. Lake Shore Dr., she was my Fairy Godfriend who I can never replace… I am contented to know that she is in Heaven with her handsome love of her life, Don, who adored her, and her dogs, Tappa and Rugby and her parents. I do hope we are as celebrated as Sharon and Don were in our last days of our lives. That would be awesome!

Lastly, I want to tell my forever best friend Sharon: “Thank you for the wonderful journey called friendship! It will be with me forever… and my heart is filled with happiness and excitement that someday, I will see you once again and we’ll hang out sipping a nice bottle of red wine and talk about the good old days on Earth”! I’ll always love you, my dear friend!!!

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Putting Ego and Jealousy in Check

by Tiffani on June 29, 2009

In my opinion, men’s biggest downfall is ego, and women’s biggest downfall is jealousy.

World war was created by egos and jealousies.  Friendships are ruined because of E & J.  Families break apart because of E & J.  Companies fall because of E & J.  People would kill each other for the emotions triggered by E & J.  Even love cannot survive the danger of E & J. It fascinates and shocks me that we are not able to learn from our past history and keep making the same mistakes!

I learned this freshman year in college, in a course called  “Woman in Art and Literature.”  It was so interesting to me that Jealousy played a key role in ruining relationships and friendships. We learned about great women who were amazingly talented and accomplished in their own field — but all through their lives,  petty Jealousy played a major role in their downfalls and sadness in both their professional and personal lives. No matter how intelligent or smart they were, they could not help themselves from the influence of Jealousy.

Men’s ego is even scarier, because when you look at world wars or other devastating disasters, they all start from somebody’s ego.  This is not just a bad thing, this is something that we need to do something about.  When I look at what’s going on now in this world with people like Saddam Hussein, Kim Il Sung … tyrants who evoke thoughts of Hitler and his vision of one superior race, or Caesar who was obsessed with power. This world is not safe! We are not safe!

Even in my social circles, I see so much E & J and how it strains relationships and friendships.  I am incredibly fortunate to have a family who gives me unconditional love.  They praise me when I do well, and support me 100% in what I do.  I guess that is one of the reasons why I subconciously choose to be with friends who are supportive and giving.  Instead of being influenced by E & J, my friends are often like mentors who are successful and confident in themselves to share and give to other people — especially when they see that you are a good person and strive to be successful.

Egos and Jealousies must have been created for us from the dark side of our conscience and morals.  We were all born with these feelings, so it depends on us on how we’re able to deal with those feelings during our lives.  I’ve also known and felt feelings of E & J just like everyone else.  I have learned that these are not the healthiest feelings to live with.  It is toxic and dangerous for yourself and others around you.  I have learned to be bigger minded and concentrate on my life by accepting my role in it.  I feel that most things in life are your destiny, so do your best to live a good life. The most important thing is to accept whatever God or superior beings have given you, and do your best to live your life in the fullest.

I must say I have experienced E & J just like everyone else has in their lives.  I choose to be humble and supportive instead of spreading E & J.  It is what I have learned from my parents and in school.  Good and bad are always with us, every day, every moment in your lives.  It is the choices we make in those moments that make us who we are.

I do think we learn all good things through education.  Why don’t we reflect and learn?  We have so many resources and history to learn from.  Why can’t we be supportive and encourage our friends, colleagues and neighbors when they do well?  Oppress those negative feelings, and replace them with healthy, happy positive feelings to better ourselves and go forward.

I like to say that it is much easier to live a clean, good life than an ugly ego/jealousy-driven life.  Support the ones who do well, and the world will be a happier and peaceful place to live.  When we can live our lives without E & J, then we can focus more on ourselves to live healthy, and we can all get along in peace and harmony.

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Feng Shui: Not Just About Furniture

by Tiffani Kim on May 18, 2009

Tiffani Kim Institute

Tiffani Kim Institute

Feng Shui isn’t just about placing furniture in the right places, in my opinion. I think true Feng Shui originates from how people treat you, and what kind of energy people give off to each other.

It doesn’t matter how beautiful the environment is. If people’s energy within that environment isn’t positive, it will ruin the entire experience. You can feel that energy, positive or negative, the moment you walk into a surrounding.

Wherever you find yourself, in a friend’s home, the workplace or dining out in a restaurant; the atmosphere and the feeling you gain from others around you  has as much impact on your experience as does the physical environment itself.

The energy has to be genuine. It’s very hard for people to “pretend” to be happy if they are not. When you truly have a happy place where people are happy with what they do, it feels so good to be there. You find yourself wanting to be part of it, and from there, your healing process begins on the right foot.

To me, health and beauty are intertwined - they come from within and are bound together. The process of allowing one’s health and beauty to improve can only happen if they find themselves in a peaceful surrounding which is fostered by people with an energy focused on healing and who are truly happy in helping others.

That’s what I want people to feel when they walk into the Tiffani Kim Institute. It’s not just a place of peace for my clients, but for myself as well — and that’s the power of true Feng Shui.

Tiffani Kim Griffith
Founder

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My Mom is My Life!

by Tiffani Kim on May 9, 2009

I want my mom to stay healthy and happy, because if she gets sick and had to leave this world, I’m going with her. My mom’s love has been the single most dependable thing in my life. Her unconditional love is very dear to me. Once you’ve experienced unconditional love, you become completely secure and confident.

I’ve seen many people look for love all their lives, without knowing what they’re truly searching for. How can people give unconditional love when they’ve never felt it? Such people wind up looking for love in all the wrong places. That is so sad to me!

I never had a need to look for love. I know I have it with my mother, and I know I will always have it. Our love for each other is so strong, we would not hesitate to die for each other — and we wouldn’t even need to think about it beforehand. I find it so sad to see people going through life’s journey without their mother’s unconditional love. That maternal bond is something that even animals have; it’s part of their instinct to protect. It’s amazing that sometimes animals can share this type of bond so much better than some humans can!

When I see my mom, I just feel that everything will always be OK. We look at each other, and we just smile. Our connection lets us feel each other’s pain and happiness. What a wonderful, warm, cozy feeling it is to be loved! I can still feel the toasty but soft warmth of my mom’s hands. I’ll always feel her kind and caring touch.

My mom tells wonderful stories; inspiring tales of other people. She taught me how to be kind, compassionate and give to others. She taught me how to feel other people’s pain and humility. She also told me to always surround yourself with people who love and support you sincerely. Most importantly, she always strived to help me become a descent human being and a beautiful-minded woman. I always have listen to my mom because she is older and wiser. Most of all she is always right!

When I hear about people’s funerals filled with mourners regretting all the things they should have done before it was too late, I tell myself, I will never regret not being able to make my mom happy. I am going to give her anything she needs, because she’s done the same for me all her life. Never asking for anything, but always giving when I needed comfort or support.

My mom says everyday is a Mother’s day for her. It is for me and it should be like that for all the mothers in the world! I’ve always wanted to be like my mom, and I cannot imagine my life without her.

I need my mom in my life! I love her so!

Tiffani Kim Griffith
Founder
www.tiffanikiminstitute.com

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Reflect on the past but never look back…

by Tiffani Kim on April 20, 2009

tkiscan4411
So many thoughts go through my mind every minute of the day…., I see, I reflect and I absorb my surroundings all day long.  When an inspiration/idea/situation comes to my mind, I try to put it in perspective based upon our human history and wisdom, wondering what those who have come before me would feel, think and do with this situation. This process helps me  learn how I can become a better human being.

I don’t want to go through my life just living and breathing. I want to touch, feel,taste and smell everything in life.  Joy, pain, sadness, happiness, love, hate…I have experienced it all and want more each and every day.  Unless you allow yourself to experience these feelings, you’ll never know how others feel.  Once you have endured pain in as much as it is, only then will you have more compassion, understanding and empathy for those around you. It’s what separates us from animals!

Having shared my outlook about life and ideas to my friends, they were inspired and wanted to hear more. I always enjoy giving my advice and opinion on human drama.  Perhaps if I share my philosophical views and continued “metamorphosis” I can somehow help others and they can help the others. That is my goal… if I can help someone with one act of kindness or offer insight that could benefit them then I believe I am making a contribution to our society.  After all isn’t that what we are all here to do, to contribute and leave our world a better place than how we found it? To me that is the ultimate accomplishment.

To succeed, to fail, to be happy, to hate, to love, to be sad … all of these are the outcomes of choices we make every minute of the day. Our lives are what we want our lives to be, no matter (and often in spite of) the obstacles we face.  We are the power and we are the creator of what this world would become.

I have had the opportunities, challenges and blessings to make my life what I’ve wanted it to become and I continue to learn and grow each and every day through my business, my artwork and my passions for life.

I believe very strongly, living healthy is not a luxury; it is a lifestyle…a choice of how we want our life to be. Yet the aches and pains of our increasingly stressful world are taking its toll on our minds, bodies and spirits. External forces are literally making us ill and leaving us feeling trapped, vulnerable even hopeless.  For my part I seek to help others to choose healthier and more enriched lives and to believe that we all have the ability to control the choices we make. I want to help the others to find a harmony and balance in their lives by being healthy for their body, mind and spirit.

Still, everything starts from somewhere…and here begins a new chapter for me..sharing my insights, experiences and what I have learned along the way. Our past make us who we are today, our choices make us who will become tomorrow. I invite you to join me in the journey to be always looking forward and to never look back.

Tiffani Kim Griffith
Founder

www.tiffanikiminstitute.com

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